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This joke's still gone too far. [04 May 2006|02:09pm]
10:53 AM - This joke has gone too far.

A man and his wife step on stage. They proceed to undress each other, taking great care to scratch their nails, audibly, across the sexual organs of the spouse. Once commpletely nude, blood dripping from the wife's right nipple, as well as the man's scrotum, the man bends his wife over and wipes lemon juice all over her vagina, completely drying anc cracking the inner lips and burning the clitoris to a reddish color. Grasping her love handles from behind the man begins to fuck her. The wife, first letting out a burst of gassy fart, proceeds to shit all over her husband, providing lubrication for her dried pussy. Little Tommy, their 4 year old son appears on the stage and walks under his bent over mother, eating her shit soaked clit. The husband stops fucking his wife and bends over himself, shooting liquidy green shit over the first half of the audience. The wife begins to menstruate heavily.

The couple's 10 year old daughter enters the stage and sits on her father's face- pissing all over him. The man masturbates to the point of orgasm, and then cums in a bucket of his daughter's shit. The son leaves his mother and begins playing a xylophone with his cock. The wife walks over the husband and pops a zit from her vagina, onto her husband's nasal cavity. Her husband lies down, and she sits on his nose, and pushes it into her pussy. She rotates, until she orgasms. Menstraul fluid soaking his eyes, the husband lies his wife on her stomach and does cocaine off her tits.

The daughter is now licking the tip of her brother's cock as it caresses the nodes of the instrument. He cums into her mouth, and she shoots it into her mother's belly button.

Woofy, the dog, now emerges onto the stage. As a family they walk over and suck the nipples of their four legged companion. They lick the dog's clit, and the husband separates and gives the dog a rim job. The family stands, and the husband walks over to the xylophone, actually large enough to be considered a marimba, and drops it on the dog, crushing its ribs. A 16 ton anvil then falls on his wife and two children; blood and entrails splashing his face. Once again, the man ejaculates.

The audience alive with applause stands in ovation. The man pulls a knife from his ass and cuts off his cock- throwing it to a young woman in the lively crowd. A man walks on stage, with a microphone and says "Simply fabulous. What do you call this piece?"

The man replies; "The Aristocrats."
3 Can groove like that! | Freestyle with that beat!

Holy bling. [26 Mar 2006|04:51pm]
I know this man in real life. This profile entertains me to no end. Truly, an accomplishment.

http://www.myspace.com/stefanovich Not naughty, don't worry.
1 Can groove like that! | Freestyle with that beat!

My life is complete. [13 Mar 2006|09:41am]
I just got to hear Christian Finnegan tear apart the Arctic Monkeys.

My life is one big accomplishment.

Completely remixed versions of Love Song, Fascination Street, and Lullaby don't hurt that pinnacle either. I can never be cheerful again <333
Freestyle with that beat!

public speaking [02 Mar 2006|11:51am]
Speaking Plan
Presentation 3

Speaking plan for “Save John H. Williams” court case. Trial part 36. Defense witness- Dr Emma Hossy M.D. to declare Williams unfit to stand for lethal injection due to advanced syphilis

Audience: 13 Jurors. Court audience is restricted, no cameras allowed in court room. Class will serve as the jurors.

Setting: An extremely controversial trial. John H. Williams has been arrested in the murders of 13 individuals. Williams allegedly murdered them in order to preserve their human essence. Williams is facing a maximum capitol penalty- lethal injection occurring in coordination with trial dates. I am speaking on behalf of the defense saying Williams has advanced syphilis- which has eaten away at the frontal lobe causing dementia and no control over his emotional reactions.

Interactional Goals- To articulate a perspective, to build community, to seek adherence.

Commitment Statement- I believe it would be irresponsible to subject Mr. Williams to lethal injection. We are obligated to, and should, insure justice for the victim- but as well as the defendant who was unable to control his actions due to a degenerative sexually transmitted disease.

Organizational Patterns- I plan to use causal analysis of my presentation. Narrative, telling the story of Williams. These will be numbered.

Main Ideas-

1. What is syphilis? Syphilis is a disease transmitted through contact with a syphilis sore- usually sexually transmitted. Syphilis is caused by the bacterium treponema pallidum. The symptoms are strange in that they mimic symptoms of other STDs. Syphilis has three stages, and in the first two stages in incredibly easy to treat. Barely 5$ worth of penicillin will completely erase the syphilis disease from a human being, but does not permanently immunize an individual to the illness.
2. What does syphilis do when left untreated? When left untreated for several years, syphilis becomes impossible to cure. After a few years all physical symptoms disappear and the bacterium proceeds to destroy the immune system and brain. Skin rashes caused by the primary and secondary stages of syphilis clear up entirely and all scars are reduced beyond visibility. Syphilis often, and in this case, eats away at the brain- turning whichever hemisphere afflicted into cottage cheese, so to speak. The brain will continue deteriorating until the person’s death.
3. So what? What happened in this case? John Williams was attacked in the summer of 1995. He was beaten, raped, and left in his home. His rapist was prosecuted and remains in prison. John had contracted syphilis- but through the primary and secondary stages was never affected brutally enough to seek treatment. By the time the first of these murders was committed- he was in the final stage, and completely overwhelmed by dementia. The syphilis, by early 2000, had completely “pasteurized” his frontal lobe and primarily his cerebral cortex. After the initial dementia, brain wirings began to cross leaving Williams certain that anyone wearing red was a product of evil, and he murdered them to save their souls, as he confessed to me at several interviews. Williams was unable to control his actions.
4. Why not put him to death? We cannot put him to death because it would be unethical to subject him to death for symptoms of a disease. The syphilis will kill him in less than 5 years. It would be more conducive for us as a community to place him in a mental institution to live the remainder of his life.

Major forms of elaboration- I will define in detail syphilis, its causes and in the instance of John H. Williams. I will show diagrams of what happened to his brain.

- Definition
- Authority

- Facts
- Antithesis

Introduction- Reference to self- I will introduce myself with my credentials, and my relation to the case. I will explain that I have been working with Williams since his arrest in early 2001. I will state that I am not a psychiatrist appointed by the defense- but by the prosecution and the FBI.

Conclusion- I will close with why it would be unethical to sentence Williams to death, though he is unfit to stand trial, to be held responsible for his actions, and to defend himself in a regular prison.
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The problem is... [01 Mar 2006|10:43pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I could live a rich, amazing life. I could do everything and try everything. Would my life be a waste, though, if I didn't have an end to satisfy the story?

Good thing it's not been written yet.

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Wow. [24 Feb 2006|12:49am]
Ok, my friend Rejum and I have been natural rufffusses since 6th grade, or something. We are neither racist or gullable.

Here, we have links- in context, the dragon hyena is my friend Rejum. The picture in question was taken from a comment Rejum left on my myspace, and the drama under which... gorgeous. EDIT: The photo was not scooped from my myspace, where it was originally posted, but from Rejum's ex-mate's page.

2 Can groove like that! | Freestyle with that beat!

Eh, why not- it was already written. Emmaaaasjlfdaskjfd [24 Feb 2006|12:46am]
[ mood | creative ]

I was VERY sick. Still am. Swollened neck, in owey pain...

So Donnay comes over. I'm on the computer, computing, and she taps my shoulder.

"Mmmyessam?" says I... before a bubble gets thrusted into my face. Wait, aren't you supposed to be my APPORPRIATE friend? Guess not. "PUFF PUFF PUFF PUFF HARDER PUFF" SHHHHWOOOOOOOOO

Fuck. So now I have the chills, I'm dying of DEATH and I can't sleep to top it off. All I want to do is run around and jump and scream and DDR and shitz. I'm listening to Buddy Holly, trying to remember what day the music actually DID die. Michael Longfellow's doing well on myspace. Governor "govenor" Richardson is too. I'm just a pop culture wizard.

So, I need opinions. I know you're reading (how?) so... who influenced today's popular musical culture more- The Beatles or the Velvet Underground? If you don't know who either are, go shoot yourself. Now.

Agreed- The Beatles opened the doors for the British invasion, which some will argue ushered in many a producer and lover of Lou Reed. The Bealtes, however, influenced such artists as The Doors, and Janice. The Doors led to LED ZEPPELIN, somehow. Later on, all this leads our way to GLAM METAL. EW GLAM METAL. Meaning, I think KISS is the same as NSYNC. Nothing wrong with NSYNC. Nothing wrong with Britney.

The Velvet Underground, however was in part influenced by David Bowie, who wrote and produced a wad of shiiiat for them. The Velvet Underground, of course headed by Lou Reed opened the Mod scene, also of British influence. God I hate England. Go South Africa. The Brits don't bathe. Twiggy, Andy Warhol, they were FANS of this mod shit... which make some guy named ROBERT ZIMMERMAN say "Folk sucks, who's up for some electric Buddy Holly?". Robert Zimmerman, AKA Bob Dylan... who WASN'T interested in him? Anyway. Mods move on- and some kids in Burmingham are like "Hey, look... wanna rip up that faggot's clothing and wear it?" Thank you, Malcolm McDowell. We have the PUNK rock shit. RIPPED OFF THE BACK OF THE MOD ONES. Punk.. leads to the non glam-metal in the 80s, and later to grunge. <3 for Nirvana.

Well, nevermind punk rock. They're fine but also seem to be obsessed with Buddy later on. Drunk Buddy Holly... OI OI OI.

So, here we have the modish ones. Lou Reed's like "well, David, you've had a shitty first album with an awesome single, fabulous second and third albums, and explained why Mickey Mouse is fat. What do you suggest I do?" David Bowie couldn't answer, being in a Saturn coma, so Lou Reed interpretted "MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD" as hmm.. SOLO ALBUM. Hello, Transformer. Excuse my chronology. So, hooker rock is all CHILL now. Wearing makeup already was. Gilbert and Sullivan are feeling sick, and women are getting the vote, or something. Sonic Youth shows up somewhere, so does Joy Division. Ian Curtis gets sad, kills himself in '80. Somewhere in there New Order was born from the screaming womb of an aged rock star. Yum. Ok, Belle and Sebastian are like "well, we're weird. Let's get famously weird". The Cure comes in, depression is now cool and so is red lipstick. Goth is taken to a yummy level, and so is cocaine. Nevermind Robert Smith, leave the guy alone. He needs a hug. I love Depeche Mode too, let's not talk about the 80s too much. FYI: TEARS FOR FEARS WROTE MADWORLD... DONNIE DARKO IS SIMPLY AN IMITATION OF BORROWED CULTURE. READ IT CAREFULLY. Head over heels.

K, so. Mod. Pete Doherty's like "cocaine... Kate Moss... new millennium?" forget pop 90s stuff. I love the Spice Girls. Nothing better than meth induced comas and catchy songs. Sinead O'Connor, raw deal. Blind Melon, good try. Right Said Fred, not quite. Ace of Base, smashing. What decade was The Thompson Twins? Anyway. Here we are. Hipsters line the streets and I'm too fat to even look at Buffalo Exchange. So, awake in the middle of the nightness. Too much Buddy Holly, no job. And a long lecture on music. I covered everything the lecturer missed. I was skipping some important shit on purpouse. This is an addition to Caroline's coverage. Country over disco? Fuuuuuhck.

2 Can groove like that! | Freestyle with that beat!

[01 Dec 2004|07:34pm]
Totally Friends Only...

Comments will be screened. Have fun.

12 Can groove like that! | Freestyle with that beat!

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